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dun dun dun   
10:36am 27/08/2006
  well i havent posted in awhile.

my and brent broke up two weeks ago. i tried to remain friends with him but hes a selfish jerk now. last night he kept calling me "fucking lame" and "annoying" and "stupid" he also said he didnt love me anymore, and told me he didnt care at all about me....i dont know how i let myself get in this kind of a relationship. i love him so much, yet i hate him for distroying any happiness left inside me. i already had problems with liking myself, it doesnt help when you trust someone with everything you've got and love them like nothing else, and never will, and they just tell you "to shut the fuck up because your annoying, and i dont care what you have to say, or what your feeling"


i fucking hate, hate, hate relationships.

i dont know if i could ever love someone again, this just went too far, i didnt deserve it.
 
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hehe.. these quizes are soo fun and stupid!   
09:59pm 13/03/2005
 
mood: giddy

What Is Your Best Sexual Skill?
Name:
Age:
Sex:
Sexuality:
Flirting Skill Level - 61%
Kissing Skill Level - 68%
Cudding Skill Level - 93%
Sex Skill Level - 93%
Why They Love You You know exactly what they want.
Why They Hate You You kiss better than them.
This Quiz by lady_wintermoon - Taken 1828322 Times.
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haha.... damn.. it got me   
10:20pm 28/02/2005
 
mood: gloomy

Stereotype-O-Meter
Username:
Gothiness: - 100%
Geekiness: - 66%
Punkiness: - 64%
Prepiness: - 11%
This fun quiz by Flippant - Taken 68446 Times.
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haha this sucks big balls
 
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hmm.. bored   
10:11pm 27/02/2005
 
mood: happy
!

Stereotype-O-Meter
Username:
Gothiness: - 96%
Geekiness: - 81%
Punkiness: - 82%
Prepiness: - 35%
This cool quiz by Flippant - Taken 68255 Times.
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hehe.. dont get mad brent! hehe.. i love ya bia
 
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VASE!!!   
12:59am 27/02/2005
 
mood: loved
well today i went to VASE, an art competiton, it was cool. i didnt think i would get a good score, but it turns out i got 4's (the highest rating) on both pieces i summited. hehe, that was cool. and so i get that score.. the judges look at all the 4's and descide which 10% of the 4's from divison one (the division im in) will go to state.cat got one piece in.. and janak said about 6 totaly freshman from nesa got to go to state.. but me.. I GOT BOTH PIECES IN!!! WOOT!, im the only nesa freshman to get both of mine in. hehe..im soo freaking happy!

and after that.. i went and hung out will brent. we went to the mall for like 2 hours.. or so. he bought me these super fantastic green and blue drag queen style flase lashes! hehe i heart em so!.. hehe and then we went to sephora.. haha good stuff. then got coffee. hehe me and him had a fab time! we always do. hehe i love brent! and he loves me!!!!

well im off...
 
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ahhh   
11:36pm 11/02/2005
 
mood: cheerful
hehe.. yesturday.. i went over to brents house.. me and him just hung out and watched rocky horror.. it was really great.. just being together.. he got me the coat i'd been wanting since my bday! ahhh.. i heart it to bits and pieces!! ahh.. i cant believe he did that though... its so.. wow.. its really nice.. and im totally lucky to have someone like him hehe

and today i went to the doctors... for a check up.. im 97lbs.. the doc thinks i might have a eating disorder.. thats bullshit! erg.. that made me upset.. but then i went to smh for lunch with sarah.. that was nice.. i saw everyone.. not sure if that was a good or bad thing.. its so funny.. all those people that hated me before.. were like hugging me and were being as twofaced as they come. hehe. it was funny to watch. oh yeah. i had to have a drug test today.. my mom thinks im abusing drugs! what the fuck?! haha.. but im not.. so the test results will totally prove her wrong!! hehe..cant wait for that
and then after all this.. we picked up brent.. me and him chilled.. had fun.. kissed.. laughed... danced! smiled... listen to some good music.. ate pizza.. we just totally had an amazing time together.. as usual.. well for me anyways... hehe.. i really heart everything about him. im like totally dumbfounded about how he wanted me.. i mean.. look at me.. and look at him (well you cant really "look at us" but you know what im saying) he totally desevers better.. but im still totally unbelievably happy, he makes me the happiest person ever! he makes me giggle like a little girl.. he makes me smile.. and he thinks im cute for it! hehe.. god.. hes just.. amazing.. hehe.. i wish i knew everyone in the world.. so i could tell them all about how much he makes me happy.i totally heart that me and him are like best friends still.. and can joke around.. and all that stuff.. but we're more.. we're close.. and he lets me put make up on him! hehe.. i heart doing that!
well im gonna stop typing.. cause everything i type is about how brent makes me happy.. hehe, im a silly girl
 
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erg.. boys   
07:07pm 03/02/2005
 
mood: distressed
ahhh.. why do i make people hate me so much? i dont mean to be a bitch or say things that are that mean.. well at times maybe... but not all the time.. or to the ones i care about. but if you havent guessed what im talking about... im talking about me, fucking up, once again... in me and brent relationship we've got going on. this sucks. it makes me angry, mad and super sad. i want to cry, but im gonna be strong and not let it get to me...

damn.. thats not gonna happen. erg, caring for someone this much really does take alot out of ya. well im gonna go be depressed and mope around, like i usually do, sad huh? but yeah
 
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hmmm.. i got pics!   
08:00pm 18/01/2005
 
mood: bouncy

 

my pics... and yeahCollapse )

 
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haha... wow.. alot of these peeps are el stupido   
08:50pm 07/12/2004
 
mood: energetic
damn.. there are soooo many pathetic and annoying and stupid people at nesa. damn.. they just get more stupid by the minute, tis sad. like the ones w/ fake gel boobs.. tisk tisk.. and whores that tell people that they wanna be their sex buddys, you disgust me... people who think their so political because they say they hate bush.. thats not being political.. you dipshits.. get your fucking facts straight before you go off and tell people your soooo fucking liberal. erg. you people( the one(s) im talking about) drive me fucking crazy, please just go die.i hate drama queens... just had to say that. they are fucking cunts.. and whores.. and deserve to die bye being rammed w/ a fucking pole through their fucking chunky ass stomach ( can you guys guess who im talking bout.. ? ) hmm me and cat wanna get miss piggy a pig nose and ears for christmas.. since we think she looks like a pig.. which she does.. shes pink for christ sakes.. and she smells like trash from a truck stop.. or so says mr. hunter deeley... god.. i love that little kid. and his pube hairs (on his head of course!, you sick fucks) is awesome... haha. damn... man im soooo out of it.. and i need to finish a project for world geo. well im gonna go tah tah <3
 
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...   
11:58am 28/11/2004
 
mood: content
well yesturday i was suposed to go over to brent's house.. but his mosha was packin, they're moving to a new house, well anyways.. so he came to my house.. its really wierd having people over at my house.. i dont like it.. and i think hes like the 3rd person to actually hang out at my house. haha but it was cool. he had dinner w/ us.. we had burgers.. can never go wrong w/ burgers ya'll! but pretty much of the time we chilled in my room.. and whatever your thinking went on... your right.. hmmm.. haha. i got him to like this misfits, i think?! hmm.. but yay if he does.


hmmm.. i wonder what im gonna do today.. i think im gonna go shower.. change.. get make up on.. then do my sketch book assignments.. then call ms. sarah clemons.. and ask her if she'd like to chill and what not. since the other day we just got to go to lunch.. cause my momma was being a stupid hoe cake.. that really sucks.. doesnt it? well anyways.. i should get going

tah tah <3
 
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hmm...   
11:12pm 25/11/2004
 
mood: content

well im completely bored to death.. no one is online.. so im gonna post and put pics! yay! yes pics of me!... but anyways

 

 ooh la la!    looky here boys!!!!  

 grr!, and last but not least!...   me and cat! being gangsta bitches fo life, yo!

 

hah well enjoy peeps!

tah tah

 
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o dear!   
11:25pm 24/11/2004
 
mood: cheerful
well everyone.. forget the emo outburst. me and brent have talked about.. and i was just being emo about my mom being a stupid hoe cake.. and i needed to blame something. and i did. and i was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo stupid. but im reall really really glad that me and brent talked about it. i made the poor boy feel guilty.. i felt, and feel horrible for that. but im really glad that he was the guy i did it with. hes really nice. i hope we stay good friends for a long time. oh gotta love ya brent.
well night night everyone
 
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crying.. what else?   
09:57pm 24/11/2004
 
mood: crushed
well im sitting here feeling like the dumbest person ever. i cant believe i did it, i was innocent, but now its gone,and im crying like crazy.. i have noone to turn to that will understand. i dont want to face myself in the mirror.. i've become so ugly. i cant stand it anymore. i just need someone to talk to. but there's noone. why? why did i do it? why did i give it away... to someone i didnt even know that well. i want to take it all back. i want to just be happy again... but free, i dont want this... its not for me. i wasnt ready.. it happened so quickly... i wish it didnt though. i wish it never happened. but everyday at school ill have to face him, face my choice, face my stupidity, and face my kidnapped childhood. fuck, why did this happened to me? i didnt want to get used or hurt. i wanted something else.. a place of
belonging .. and i wanted to be loved... oh god did i want to be loved. i wanted him to care for me.. not my body.. not my sex. i wanted him to love me. no some of me.. all of me. but you can never get what you wish for i guess. well this all happened tuesday.. if anyone wonders.. not that it matters. well im gonna go cry my eyes out more.. and look like shit in the morning (nothing new). well bye
 
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no...im just that stupid...   
10:23pm 20/11/2004
 
mood: gloomy
why is it that when ever i like a guy im mean to him? god.. it just push's him away. and i was kinda mean to the guy i liked.. i wasnt feelin well.. im kinda down today for some reason... well anyways so i was barely talkin to him.. and mostlikely seemed bored... but i wasnt. shit. well i really dont think he likes me at all, besides a friend. man why the fuck do screw up shit like this.i dont mean to be.i want some one to be friends w/ benefits!! i dont want a boy friend... i just wanna have fun.. and still be friends. but yet there are no boys that like.. or at least i think there arent. erg... i hate thinking about this shit... it gets me so down. and i really dont need that today. i wish i was prettier.. i mean im better looking the a couple people i know.. but thats cause they as ugly as hell.. i wont mention names.. but im guessing some of you could guess who im talking about. well anyways im gonna go... hopefully the boy i like will get back online... hopefully.
tah tah
 
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all glamed up and nowhere to go...   
03:13pm 20/11/2004
 
mood: depressed and horny
well im all sexed up.. and i have nothing to do. noones home... noone wants to hang out.. i get the feeling that noone loves me. well i kinda like this guys... he would seem to be anything but my type.. but he is. but im pretty sure he doesnt like me... that sucks. anyways... i have being a virgin... everyone seems to more experienced then me.. and it sucks. big time. but what ever.. ill try to get over it. i miss sarah. i really do.. i think im gonna call her later. man i wanna do something to night.. cause i am like so glamed and sexed up... and yet so bored.. maybe ill take pics... ya know its funny.. as much as i hate how i look in pics.. and hate pics of me... i love taking pics of me.tis a strange thing. man i cant wait to be 18.. nude modeling baby! man im gonna be the next dita von teese ( for those who do not know who this extremely beautiful women is.. go die... just go.. die. thank you. ), but fist i need a new face and body. thats funny too.. as much as i want to be a nude model.. i hate my body.. i just hate it. its disgusting. blah!.. but i've gotten used to it. so its ok. well im gonna go.. im getting more depressed by the minute.

tah tah
 
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hmmm...   
07:11pm 18/11/2004
 
mood: bored
well here i am... ungrounded ( was grounded for a month:(, sad but true) any ways brent just called me not to long ago and wanted to meet him at the mall... i didnt go.. so me and him talked for awhile.. man hes pretty awesome.. me and him talk ghetto lingo and its pure geneously fun... not sure if geneously is a word... but what ever! im and artist i can do whatever the fuck i want. man evy justique and ashley are the coolest seniors, so is morgan. and man oh man.. i hate alot of the freshman... not all... but alot... most of em are the damned mts... haha man so many people hate em... hah.. good times... speakin of goodtimes.. i miss jessica jones.. my best bud from fla... well im gonna go.. im kinda bored... later peeps

brought to you by the almighty britters!
 
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